I was officially diagnosed with Endometriosis is February 2021. It took almost ten to eleven years to finally get an answer. My husband and I had been trying to conceive with no luck, so we visited a fertility clinic and found endometrioma in my ovaries. I knew it had to be as I struggled with terrible periods so much that I was unable to move or get out of bed since high school. I used to take time off going to school and work. I was told I was just one of those unlucky people who just had painful periods and they diagnosed me with menorrhagia. I went to different GPs and it was the same story everywhere, to the point I believed I was the problem and I was the one being dramatic. The advice was to go on the pill to help my symptoms. It didn’t help. In fact it made it worse so I stopped taking medication given to me by the GPs all together and managed the pain with bed rest, hot water bottles, nurofen and panadol. I refused to go doctors or hospital because of the medical trauma trying to deal with this situation. I was lucky enough to have some pretty good managers who were understanding of my situation, as I was always upfront about my sickness. I would always overwork to compensate for the days I was away being stuck in bed to the point I was burnt out, and struggling to manage my health and work. When I was diagnosed it was by luck, I ended up in hospital due to severe pain. After a muck up from the hospital thinking it was appendicitis when I actually had a ruptured endometrioma, the general team who put me under had to call the specialist team and I was under for about 6 hours which scared my husband who was waiting for me after they told him I will only be away for an hour or two. The cleared all the Endometrioma but didn’t have enough time to remove any of the endo but had taken samples to test it. The recovery from the surgery was tough, and I had actually bled out as my stitches had come undone. The scars emotionally and physically were hideous. I went back in for a scan three months later to which they confirmed endometrioma had returned in both ovaries so the surgery was a waste and also caused scar tissue. And to top it off I had to go for another surgery to remove a polyp that was found in my uterus, which was done in 2021. Not as traumatic as I was in a private hospital and the difference was insane. Public health system is overloaded and people there are overworked. I decided to do my research and found a doctor that is named the best in NZ (Dr Michael), and booked an appointment. He did a scan right away and saw my endo was at a very severe stage, it has spread to my lower rectum and I have adenomyosis on my bladder. My mental well being spiraled out of control at this point, the desperation of wanting to be a mother but also wanting to get rid of this condition. I had panic attacks in the middle of the night, I would constantly be crying, and I had became such a shell of myself and rarely left the house. I became so disconnected from myself as a person, I questioned my self worth as a woman, as a human being. I was in such a dark place, that I tried to end my life. It was when I was holding two packets worth of medication, sitting in the corner of my room when I realized that this isn’t me. This isn’t what I want or who I want to be. I reached out for help. I was in Counselling for a few months. It helped somewhat to look at life differently. Fast forward to today, 2023 which is my year! I am back in employment, part time and work from home full time which works for my situation. I’m due for surgery soon to remove my right tube as it is blocked, resection my bowel and bladder and remove all the endo. I have one last scan before the doctors discuss the final plan regarding my surgery. I’m also at the top of the IVF list, to which they are waiting for my surgery and then I must wait for four months before I do IVF. I’m in such a better place mentally, not perfect but I’m working on it. And I’m also looking at alternative ways to live with my endometriosis. Learning which sort of foods trigger my symptoms, doing acupuncture and resting when my body needs. My journey is still on going, some days are good and some days aren’t but I’m looking forward to the future.